Peru Ayahuasca experience 2017 Chapter 4.
The fourth ceremony began in the same way as the others. This time I placed myself next to the door of the Maloka. I took the medicine with a strong intention to connect with my higher self.
I waited for nausea to come and it didn't. Having only taken one cup of the medicine on the previous nights I thought I would ask for a second cup this time. I felt as if three-quarters of an hour had gone by and asked Jackie, one of the facilitators. She informed me that it was still early, and I should hang on a bit. I sat back and was on the verge of resigning myself to a quiet introspective evening. Suddenly I reached for my bucket and vomited loudly. The mightiest smack hit me with the full force of a train. I was forced onto my stomach and began to scream. At first, I was saying "enough, kill me, Kill Me, KILL ME, KILL MEEEEE!" I was saying this to the spirit of Aya, not the facilitators who were reassuring me they would not kill me. I wanted to die to the flesh and be reborn in the spirit.
I was on my stomach and I believe I went into the shape of the cross. Totally rigid with my arms outstretched. I was carried out of the circle down the corridor narrowly missing the female shaman who was tiny and bolted hurriedly out of harm's way seemingly able to rouse herself from a deep trance-like state.
"Guide Meee, show me, teach me". These words were coming from a deep place within me and I let out a primal scream so loud the security guard was called by concerned passing villagers to make sure everything was ok.
I was being sent love from all directions and it was painful but beautiful. I felt like the incredible hulk as he transformed. I stood in my raw natural power. Primal, masculine, deep. All the pain I have felt over being rejected and ignored evaporated.
I vaguely remember a woman being pulled off me that was hugging me incredibly tightly pouring the love of the divine feminine into me. I was so worried that I had hurt someone, but it soon became clear that all was well. There was a part of the trip in which I was attacking everyone and smashing up the Maloka. Thankfully this did not happen.
I felt around me and realised I was not on my mat in the big room but in the back area and there were mattresses padding me. I remember thinking oh, god this is it I've lost my mind and ended up in a padded cell. Gradually my senses returned, and I wanted to be a part of the group again, so I asked to be guided back to my mat. I lay there as the pieces returned to my mind and I knew I was sane. It was the most intense experience of my life. Utterly terrifying and beautiful at the same time. It was beautiful because I could love myself and forgive those who in my life have treated me badly.
As it grew light I went to wait for my flower bath. The shaman were exhausted and had to be woken up. I thanked them for all the work they had done.
The fourth ceremony for me was by far the most profound.
People have said Ayahuasca is not a miracle cure but a tool with which we can navigate our lives and I agree with this. I feel rewired and full of hope. I will save up and be in India by Nov/Dec 2018. I will go to Goa and teach Reiki. I am done with western living.
I waited for nausea to come and it didn't. Having only taken one cup of the medicine on the previous nights I thought I would ask for a second cup this time. I felt as if three-quarters of an hour had gone by and asked Jackie, one of the facilitators. She informed me that it was still early, and I should hang on a bit. I sat back and was on the verge of resigning myself to a quiet introspective evening. Suddenly I reached for my bucket and vomited loudly. The mightiest smack hit me with the full force of a train. I was forced onto my stomach and began to scream. At first, I was saying "enough, kill me, Kill Me, KILL ME, KILL MEEEEE!" I was saying this to the spirit of Aya, not the facilitators who were reassuring me they would not kill me. I wanted to die to the flesh and be reborn in the spirit.
I was on my stomach and I believe I went into the shape of the cross. Totally rigid with my arms outstretched. I was carried out of the circle down the corridor narrowly missing the female shaman who was tiny and bolted hurriedly out of harm's way seemingly able to rouse herself from a deep trance-like state.
"Guide Meee, show me, teach me". These words were coming from a deep place within me and I let out a primal scream so loud the security guard was called by concerned passing villagers to make sure everything was ok.
I was being sent love from all directions and it was painful but beautiful. I felt like the incredible hulk as he transformed. I stood in my raw natural power. Primal, masculine, deep. All the pain I have felt over being rejected and ignored evaporated.
I vaguely remember a woman being pulled off me that was hugging me incredibly tightly pouring the love of the divine feminine into me. I was so worried that I had hurt someone, but it soon became clear that all was well. There was a part of the trip in which I was attacking everyone and smashing up the Maloka. Thankfully this did not happen.
I felt around me and realised I was not on my mat in the big room but in the back area and there were mattresses padding me. I remember thinking oh, god this is it I've lost my mind and ended up in a padded cell. Gradually my senses returned, and I wanted to be a part of the group again, so I asked to be guided back to my mat. I lay there as the pieces returned to my mind and I knew I was sane. It was the most intense experience of my life. Utterly terrifying and beautiful at the same time. It was beautiful because I could love myself and forgive those who in my life have treated me badly.
As it grew light I went to wait for my flower bath. The shaman were exhausted and had to be woken up. I thanked them for all the work they had done.
The fourth ceremony for me was by far the most profound.
People have said Ayahuasca is not a miracle cure but a tool with which we can navigate our lives and I agree with this. I feel rewired and full of hope. I will save up and be in India by Nov/Dec 2018. I will go to Goa and teach Reiki. I am done with western living.
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